~ Forget Me Not

by

Jo Burman

Karensa rose before first light and crawled from her snug cocoon into the chill darkness. Seth had surprised her their first night on the trail by hanging tarpaulins from the bottom of the mess wagon, creating for her a cozy, private place to sleep. Though she had tried to thank him, he had only given a terse nod and strode away without listening. She shook her head at the memory, still unable to understand his actions. For the past two days he had behaved strangely. Several times she had caught him watching her with a worried frown, as if he had concerns about her ability to keep pace. But when she approached him to discuss the matter, he seemed first indifferent and then irritated. After that, she had tried to keep her distance as much as possible.

She looked for him now in the cluster of men still sleeping by the now dead fire, but soon gave up. The violet-gray dawn crept steadily over the horizon, but it was still too dark to see anything more than shadows.

Soundlessly, she circumvented the sleeping men and made her way into a small ravine bordering in the campsite. In the distance she heard Cim, still on last watch, crooning out some lonesome melody. Bear, who had sprawled all night outside her makeshift tent, trotted eagerly ahead, leading her down to a narrow, curving stream. Kneeling, she dipped her hands into the shallow water and splashed her face and neck. Then she set to work on her hair. By the time the sun’s warming rays at last banished the darkness, her hair was neatly braided and she could hear the men rising to clear camp.

Not wanting to let go of the solitude, she wandered upstream. Around the bend she discovered a cluster of wind-ragged cottonwoods fringing a sparse patch of grass. Downstream, the creek bed grew wide and flat, and she knew the cattle would be jostling with one another to quench their thirst, but here all was still and peaceful. Finding a large flat rock under the trees she took a seat.

The solitude and beauty of the place reminded her of a chapel. She allowed her eyes to drift closed and immediately saw the familiar vision. Her gown was white lace. Beside her stood her beloved. His voice was deep and resonate , his hand strong and warm as it clasped hers.

I Karensa, take thee Joss...

She lifted her head at the sound of clattering rocks in the creek bed. More rocks sounded, and the loud rustling of something--someone--pounding through the brush. Bear darted off at once to investigate, and she quickly rose.

“Bear! Come,” she commanded. The last thing she needed was him frightening off an already skittish steer and starting a stampede.

Bear skidded to a stop, tail wagging, and a tall figure rounded the bend. It was Seth; and from the look on his face she knew there was trouble.

“What is it?” She scrambled down off her rock.

He halted, hands on his hips and legs braced wide. “What were you thinking?” he demanded. Even half hidden by the brim of his hat, his amber eyes were flecked with fire.

She frowned. “Thinking? About what?”

He looked as if he wanted to shake her. “Going off without telling me. I thought you had more sense than that.”

As always, she was annoyed when he, or any man, suggested her brain was of lesser capabilities than their own. Her stand took on a mirror position to his as she stuck a fist to each hip. “You’re yelling at me because I wanted a few moments of privacy? What business is it of yours?”

In her heart she knew the answer. And it filled her with a strange and unbidden hope. Seth cared for her far more than he wanted her to realize.

With what seemed like great effort, he softened his stare. “I’m sorry,” he said, voice forcibly even. “There are a thousand calamities that could befall a woman, or man, out here. When I realized you were gone, I thought the worst. It never occurred to me you would go off on your own.”

Immediately, her own ire vanished. Looking through his eyes, she could see that her actions had been careless. What shocked her most was the depth of his reaction. “I-it’s all right.”

She concentrated on brushing the back of her skirt as an alternative to meeting his eyes. Out of loyalty to Joss, she was determined to remain indifferent despite whatever feelings Seth had begun to develop for her. “I can understand why my absence might have caused you concern. I promise to stick closer from now on,”

His eyes narrowed. “Good. I’m glad we can agree.” He continued to stare at her, hands glued to his sides and jaw set.

“Is there something else?”

He nodded once. “Yep.”

“Well?” She looked down, growing more and more uncomfortable with his scrutiny.

“I was just wondering if anyone’s ever kissed you.”

Her head snapped up. “W-what?”

“Well, you’re all hung up on this Joss fellow. So I figure either you’ve never been kissed by anyone else, or if you were, you must have not enjoyed it.”

She hated that she was so transparent. How had he known she was thinking about Joss? And as far as kissing went...

She felt the betrayal of her own body as heat rose to her cheeks. “Who I have or haven’t kissed is none of your concern,” she said, lifting herself to her fullest height.

“That’s true,” he agreed, although his stare did not abate.

“Well,” she said, withering under several more moments of him remaining frozen in place. “Are you saying that you want to kiss me?”

“Nope.” He stepped closer at last, his tall, broad shouldered form making her feel both powerless and protected at the same time. “But I reckon I could stand to let you try one on me.”

She looked up into his eyes, seeing the teasing light hidden within them, but also finding something compellingly serious.

“Seth, I--”

“Shh.” He lifted a hand to her face, cupping her jaw and one cheek. “You think too hard.”

Her eyes closed as she pressed toward his stroking fingers. Had she ever known anything as wondrous? Her lips parted and a small sigh escaped. He was right. She did think too much. Just this once she wanted to let herself be carried by instinct instead.

She lifted her eyelids and met his seeking gaze. “I don’t know how to kiss,” she admitted. “I need help.”

With barely a nod in agreement, he drew her to him. His lips fell not where she had expected, but at her hairline above her right temple. For a moment he pressed them there, the touch as light as the brush of a feather. Then he pulled her closer, cradling her head to his chest with one hand while his free arm wrapped around her waist.

She closed her eyes, content to be enveloped by the sound of his beating heart. All her other concerns seemed like a distant memory. The only thing that mattered, the only thing she wanted to matter, was the feel of his fingers tracing on her hair and the comforting rise and fall of his chest beneath her cheek.

His hand trailed down her face and found her chin. Lifting it, he lured her gaze to his once again. He smiled. Then with a caress more gentle than she could ever have imagined, his lips brushed her own.

The moment had barely begun when he pulled back, resting a hand on each of her shoulders in a way that almost seemed reverent. “Kara, sweetheart,” he said, eyes lit with tenderness, “you’re too good to be true, you know.”

She fought her disappointment that the kiss was over. Her gazed skimmed his face, seeking her own understanding within him.

With a parting squeeze upon her shoulders, he stepped back, arms dropping to his sides. “I think I should head back to camp.”

She nodded. He was right. This wasn’t appropriate at all. She was his boss, for one thing. And for another...

She tried to remember the daydream she had been having before he had interrupted, but Joss, and everything that went with him, seemed strangely distant.

“Don’t linger here too long,” he said. “Just to be safe.”

When she said nothing, he turned and began heading downstream. She watched him for a minute, before she realized she had too many questions to let him walk away just yet. In an instant, she lifted her skirts and scrambled after him. “Seth. Wait.”

She rounded the bend and caught up to him standing still and talking to someone. She stepped forward to see. “Tucker.” Her heart sped up. “What are you doing here? What’s wrong?”

Tucker’s eyes darted to Seth. She didn’t like the message he seemed to be conveying.

“What is it?” she demanded.

Seth took her elbow. “It’s Mattie,” he said, quietly. “She’s gone.”